Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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