We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
