Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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