In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
