I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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