**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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