did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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