I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I need a burrito and a hug.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
