I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
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