sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
