every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
is wine microwaveable?
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Randomize
