I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
i out mim tonsoeep
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