I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
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