addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
