I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
This is the high leading the old right now
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
