i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
