if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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