Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
