I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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