You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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