like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
