Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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