You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Randomize
