guys are only as good as the porn they watch
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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