You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
Come see our sink grown plant.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
