the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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