My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
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