yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Randomize
