Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
