So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
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