craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
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