I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
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