I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Randomize
