Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
