Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
