"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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