Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
