margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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