I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
