i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
