glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
