I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
