it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
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