apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
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