I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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