i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
