I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
