just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
i dont even know how to be here
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
