Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
