I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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