My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
