her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Randomize
